Two really long weeks

Will was gone from May 14th to the 25th on business.  It sounds so exciting, but he was just down in Alabama training people.  Which I'm sure was a great experience for him...
...but it meant that I was all by myself with two small children....
Look, I know I'm their mama.  I love them so.  But before Will left, I was scared outta my mind.  I had a bout with postpartum depression after Jim was born, and I honestly doubted if I could hold it together for that long.
But I did, somehow.  I lived to tell the tale.  Here's what helped...

1. This article from Rachel at Smile and Wave.   I know she was without her husband (who was gone for the Army) for muuuuuuccchhh longer, but her tips really helped.  And when I read Rachel's blog, I feel like I'm hanging with a girlfriend, and more often that not, end up saying out loud "oh girl, I get it!"
2. Get out of the house.  I was over at my in-laws' for dinner the Monday Will left.  And that Wednesday.  I stayed the night at my in-laws' house over the weekend.  And then came over the next two days for dinner.  Lena and I had lunch with one of my girlfriends from outta town (HI COURTNEY!!!)  After I dropped Jim off at school (which is the next thing), Lena and I would go to the store and just walk around for a little bit.  Or while she slept, I'd go grab a little breakfast.  We went to the mall.  We went on walks.  Anything I could do to get out of that house helped tremendously. 
3. Take the Jim to the school.  School's out for the summer now, but for the two weeks Will was gone, luckily it was still in session.  If I had had to handle both children all day and all night long...things would have been much harder.  I could've kept him home with me (he's only 3 for goodness sake's), but we needed time apart from each other.  He needed other kids.  I get it.
4. Do a project.  On a particularly long nap of Lena's, I rearranged our living room.  Yes, it was a big project that I probably didn't have any business doing, but it felt sooooo good when it was done.  Feeling like you accomplished something somehow makes the time go by much faster.
5. Takeout and movies.  I know I'm not the only parent who has relied a little bit on fast food for dinner (like twice, back off) and movies (Disney, baby!) to provide a respite.  Greedy am I? Maybe.  Sane am I?  More than likely.
6. ASK FOR HELP.  I had friends stopping by to help me (when I wasn't at my in-laws') constantly.  Mostly for company, but also to just keep Jim occupied while I gave Lena a bottle.  Or to hold a screaming Lena while I gave that poor little Jim a bath.  My friends were a huge help to me.  My family was a huge help to me.  I asked for it, but I think I didn't even have to do that.  These people stepped up for me, and I have no idea how I'll ever repay them. 
7. Call Will. Call Will. Call Will.  I was on the phone with Will so much that it barely felt like he was gone.  With our new phones we were able to FaceTime (thank you iPhone 4).  I took videos of the kids and emailed them to him.  We always had a heated game of Words with Friends on.  I'm lucky I got to talk and interact with him as much as I did. 

I'm sure there's more, but those are the things that pop out at me.  I'm proud of myself for making it through without once yelling at my kids or losing my cool.  I did, however, have to take a few deeps breaths, but it's all good.
Next challenge on the horizon--making it through summer as a (basically) stay-at-home mom.  Wish me luck!

Alright, already!

My Dove chocolate candy is trying to tell me something...

When I opened these two (along with, like, 20 others) and they were yelling at me to make a list of my dreams, I thought "Deal! I can come up with a bunch of dreams." But then I realized---I just want to be happy.
I just want my children to know love.
I just want my husband to live a fulfilling life and have love in his heart.
I want the people who we love to know that we do.
I want us to leave a mark that means something.
I want my kids to have their priorities straight.
I want to make sure I do too!
I want bigger things than...things.

I want love.

A Knight's Tale is awesome

That's all I have to say for now.  I'm gearing up for two weeks without Will.  He's leaving for training at work, and that's great, but I don't think he knows how much I need him.

I guess we'll see how this goes...Think about me.  Alone.  With two kids.  One of them, very very very small.

Yikes.

At the moment

I'm loving on some gingham.  So classic.  So effortless.  So lovely.

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Worn Slick

That's what I am.  Worn slick, as my mother-in-law would say (love you, Jo!).  There's always a bottle that needs refilled or washed or given.  Always a load of laundry that can't wait.  Always clutter everywhere that drives me crazy.  Always the bag of yarn that I am desperate for more time to make projects from.  Always a little baby who can't stand to just hang out on her play mat while mommy runs to the other room for three seconds.  Always a little boy who flops and flops.  Always a husband who is as worn slick as I am, if not more so.  I'm tired of constantly going.  Except the time when I take my little walks with my friend (love you, Sarah!).  That is a release.  The rest is hard work.  I'm more of a stay-at-home mother now than I ever have been, or probably ever will be again.  That's a lot of one-on-one time with a baby.  Then once school is out, Jim will be home with us, too.  That's a whole lot more one-on-one time with both.  I'm hugely terrified and a little excited equal parts terrified and excited to have the summer with my kids, because next year Jim goes to kindergarten (whaaaat?!?) and Lena will probably go to daycare after she's one. 

So I'm reading other mommy blogs to help me wrap my brain around doing all this. 

This post on making time for rest has been super helpful (and eases my mind a little).

Maybe I just need a vacation.  From the kids.  Or work.  Or everyone.  Or maybe I just need a little sleep.